About depression

I've seen a lot of posts on social media about depression. Some say that someone's always listening, some say just call me and we can talk. And some say whatever you need, I'm here. When I read these things I think, these people have no idea what depression is. I've been to funerals of suicides and hear people say, why didn't they ask for help? Odds are they did but you weren't listening. And that's the key to all of it. We're really not listening. We text, we e-mail and some tweet. Occasionally we talk on the phone but seldom make face to face contact. Someone wrote a book several years ago about love languages, we accept that people express love in different ways, why don't we accept that people communicate other emotions in different ways? I can tell you this from first person experience. I am typically depressed every day. It's the routine that keeps me going most days. I have a pretty good idea of what will help, I can remember times when I was not depressed, but haven't met anyone yet who can provide it though. I will keep trying. Someone who is deeply depressed, bordering on despair, will not call for help, because they don't believe that anyone can help. Sometimes the depressed person has no idea what they need, I'm there quite a lot. But communication is still there. It's probably little things. In military leadership school they taught us to look for changes in behavior. Is someone typically punctual to work and suddenly late frequently? Or the opposite, typically coming in right on time and then 20 - 30 minutes early? Changes in how much they talk, social habits. Do you know someone who was involved in social gatherings and has suddenly disappeared? Those may all be cries for help. And I can also say that the posts, while the intent is good, makes me think,"really, I've been screaming for years and you've never been here." Being a geek, I will use a scene from the original Star Trek motion picture. The Voyager probe returns to earth and has developed intelligence, it's name is now V'ger. It wants to communicate with the creator. In the middle of receiving the encryption code, V'ger burns off it's own antenna, which means the only way to complete the code sequence is for the creator, or someone who knows the code, to actually make contact. That's what we need. We don't need a text, or e-mail. Sometimes a phone call will help, but depressed people need, more than anything else personal contact.